Damn It, I Miss Fruitopia!


I was sitting in the drive thru with the wife the other day. Wow. That sounded like an open to the show Letterkenny, when we discussed things from our high school days that we miss. And one thing came flooding to my mind. The one drink vending machine we had while in school and what was inside that machine for the best $1.25 could spend at the old age 13.

So, a little context, I lived in a small town where driving 20 minutes to a crappy Chinese restaurant and a Wal Mart was the cool thing to do. The little things in life became cherished more and more. Each morning when my friend and I arrived at school, I had a mission. A mission from God. I would walk thru those halls with a swagger. Ok, that is a lie. It would be more of a walk, keeping my head down trying to avoid eye contact with different cliques and girls I had a crush on. Shyness is the devil. But as I made that right turn towards our gym, that vending machine would have a light coming down upon it as if it were a gift from the lord herself.

I didn’t care about the orange juice or apple juice. Those items were for kids. I wanted a drink that would make my taste buds explode with the magic that could only be explained by a Bruno Mars song. After injecting that machine with my legal tender, I was about to inject the taste of strawberry passion awareness. God, I miss Fruitopia.

Not the actual vending machine. That vending machine had a viking funeral.

I am not a juice fan at all, but Fruitopia was not just a drink for me, it was a damn lifestyle. So, today, I am begging the Coca Cola company to bring back Fruitopia! Because all of us need something that is positive happening in 2020 and this is what our tastebuds need.


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Richard Pruitt
I am Richard and I have a problem. A problem with entertaining people. I have been in the comedy world for over 10 years. I started out as an improv actor making fun and light of everything. Doing that felt rewarding, but I have to admit, I wanted more. I couldn’t get the taste of performing out of my mouth. Does that not sound a little creepy? I decided to start doing my own stand up show. I love to make fun of my family and anything that will make a normal person say what the fuck. The journey still continues, in 2009, I had a dream to create my own online magazine. This is the beautiful corner of craziness in front of you. I have been through hell in my life but being stopped is something that I will not let happen. I am a fighter and hope to make people realize it is ok to smile and think from time to time. It also helps being a nerd.
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