The First Debate Was A Derriere Excrement Political Soap Opera AKA A Shit Show

I have been trying to find the words to write since the catastrophe of Tuesday night. I do not think I am the only one trying to process the events that happened during that derriere excrement political soap opera (Shit Show) that was the presidential debate. And I am not sure I can. The only thoughts I can muster is that of embarrassment and shame because no one won. In fact, the biggest take away from that debate is that we the American people lost.

My parents made sure when I was of age to understand, I would watch the presidential debates. I remember vividly the first debate I watched was between three people. The incumbent, George HW Bush, Bill Clinton, and Ross Perot graced the stage for battle over policy and how they would help the American people for the next four years. And each debate that followed used the same format. The idea was to inform the undecided voter on who should get their vote. Much like Dancing with the Stars.

But that format started to get skewed in 2016 during the Republican debates when candidates on stage had an argument over the size of their dick. Because if that is what I wanted in a leader, I would choose someone who drives a really small car. And yet, started the smoke which finally ignited during the first presidential debate of this year.

Right out of the gate, the entire debate went of the rails. It was like watching a car crash in slow motion. Hell, if you lived in a small town, you would have drove by this five or six time just to believe what you are seeing.

Trump’s constant interrupting reminded me of that one drunk guy who always wants fight. All you want to do is walk away from him, but eventually he says something that gets under your skin to the point where you want them to catch your hands. And that is exactly what happened to Biden and even Chris Wallace.

And how do you miss a sure thing? Trump was asked to denounce white supremacists, all he had to do is say, I do not support this group. That is it. Make it be known to the people that you are against racism in this country, but instead of hitting it out of the park, he missed. And that one miss was adopted by a fucking terrorist group as their new slogan. Come the fuck on? A Storm Trooper could have hit that shot.

I know the rules might be changed for the second one, and dear god please make that happen. If I wanted to listen to people argue over each other for 90 minutes, I would call my family.

As an American, I am not excited about the second debate at all. I do not want to see the Shit Show 2: Electric Boogaloo. I feel I owe everyone an apology for sharing the link to the first debate.

In conclusion, to quote David Rose, “I’M GONNA NEED A STIFF DRINK TO GET THROUGH THIS.” That debate is the perfect metaphor for 2020. Weed needs legalized.

And now I leave you with a Weird Al song about the debates. When we needed a pick me up, the weird one is there to lift us up.

What's Your Reaction?

Like Like
Love Love
Geek Out Geek Out
Geek Out
Sad Sad
Angry Angry
Richard Pruitt
I am Richard and I have a problem. A problem with entertaining people. I have been in the comedy world for over 10 years. I started out as an improv actor making fun and light of everything. Doing that felt rewarding, but I have to admit, I wanted more. I couldn’t get the taste of performing out of my mouth. Does that not sound a little creepy? I decided to start doing my own stand up show. I love to make fun of my family and anything that will make a normal person say what the fuck. The journey still continues, in 2009, I had a dream to create my own online magazine. This is the beautiful corner of craziness in front of you. I have been through hell in my life but being stopped is something that I will not let happen. I am a fighter and hope to make people realize it is ok to smile and think from time to time. It also helps being a nerd.
Choose A Format
Personality quiz
Series of questions that intends to reveal something about the personality
Trivia quiz
Series of questions with right and wrong answers that intends to check knowledge
Voting to make decisions or determine opinions
Formatted Text with Embeds and Visuals
The Classic Internet Listicles
The Classic Internet Countdowns
Open List
Submit your own item and vote up for the best submission
Ranked List
Upvote or downvote to decide the best list item
Upload your own images to make custom memes
Youtube, Vimeo or Vine Embeds
Soundcloud or Mixcloud Embeds
Photo or GIF
GIF format
Send this to a friend