Did you grow up with your parents or grandparents repurposing a danish cookie butter tin or was it just me? Story time! My mother repurposed those tins to store homemade fudge and peanut brittle. I can still taste the fudge my mom packed away in those tins. That came out wrong. Um. Moving on. But what a treat it was to open a tin and find those Danish Butter Cookies looking up at you. So, today, I am going to rank those 5 cookie shapes that help make the holidays for some or just become a way to stash weed.
#5: The round swirly one has a decent taste. (Vanilla Ring) But when you put that cookie in your mouth, it feels as if you are giving a blow job to wood shavings. I have never wanted to feel the texture of saw dust in my mouth, but that cookie does just that.
#4: The hard rectangle cookie with the coarse sugar on top. (Finnish bread) The taste is fine. The texture is fine. If you bite down exactly right on one of those, chances are false teeth are in your future. I am not sure what I would rather admit to someone. Losing my teeth to meth or losing my teeth because of eating a cookie.
#3: The one round cookie. (Coconut) It’s round. It’s a cookie. It tastes good with coffee.
#2: The other round cookie. (Country) It’s round. It’s a cookie. And it tastes better with coffee.
#1: The one that looks like a pretzel which may or may not be a rejected Friends title. This cookie has the best parts of the others, but it has one thing that sets it above all the other cookies and that is that it is shaped like a pretzel. It really is happiness in a tin, and the closest you can get to that is if you keep weed in your Danish Butter Cookie tin.