Suit up, Santa!! The Real Ending


“You are going to put your fingers to the keyboard and give the people reading this story a happy ending. You jackass.” Said Sharon flanked by Bryan.

The story had a logical ending in Part 4. Richard is on the floor, motionless. People will have to wait for an entire year. We are leaving the entire series on a cliffhanger. And there is always the possibility of not being renewed for next season, but we will cross that bridge if we must do it.

“Listen, I do not care what you think. You screwed up by posting that I was Cupid. Do you realize how much I hate Valentine’s Day; I did not need that released to the public especially by some jackass narrator who couldn’t even narrate closed captioning.” Sharon says.

That cut deep. Look, there is nothing else left to tell….

“Not good enough. 2020 has been a mother fucking shit year. Yeah, I cursed. I am mad. The people at home deserve an ending that will put a god damn smile on their face and to make their hearts grow two sizes that day. Even though that would cause a medical emergency to happen.” Sharon yells. “And just remember, I am the good cop.”

Are you threatening me?

“This is fucknut who told people you are Cupid? Does anyone know you wet the bed until you were 31? Does anyone know you gallivant as Elvis to marry couples who will only annul on day two? Does anyone know that you go to furry conventions dressed like Pua from Moana?!” Bryan says.

Ummm. I am not sure what to do here.

“I think for your best interest and interest for the story, you tell an ending worthy to make smiles in this wretched year. That is what I think. What about you Bryan?” Sharon says.

“That is what I think too!” Bryan exclaimed.

Are you in some of holiday character mob?

“Do you honestly think we would tell you?” Bryan says.

Wait, Cupid is just an undercover mob boss. That would be a new story arch introduced during the final act of a story, why would we do that?

“Listen minstrel of stupid. Virtually, if part 4 was the finale in your mind, this of this as an after-credit scene bitch. The only way you will learn more about us is in the 2021 story, The 12 Stories of Christmas. We set up next year, I think it’s time for you to hold your end of the bargain, bitch boy. Give those fine readers sitting at home a happy ending fitting for Christmas. And if you do not, we will fucking end you.” Sharon says.

Alright. Holy shit, I did not see that coming. Well, as long as you here, I have question. Did you get a present? Did it put a smile on your face, did the spirit of Christmas come over your body? You see what Santa did last night was give up ever bit of his power to share a small piece of it with everyone across the world. Richard loves Christmas and giving presents gives you a rush as if you are doing a line of coke with Don Jr. Santa gave it all up, the midnight ride an everything, just to make sure every family could have Christmas.

But with that power came great responsibility. Ashlee found Richard lying on the floor motionless. She started using the lessons learned in nursing. She was able to move him to a bed. He did not move for hours. The first thought is that all his physical energy is drained. The second is that it could cause some internal issues. Ashlee goes to kitchen and runs into Sharon coming into the door of the North Pole.

“Ashlee, how is he?” Sharon asks

“He has not moved. He just needs to get his energy back.” Ashlee responds.

“Is there an option of him not coming back.” Sharon asks.

“He told me of something that could happen, he could be in a vegetative state until the power that was sent out starts returning. There is no telling when that news will get back to the rest of the world. But may not wake up ever again.” Ashlee says with a heartbroken tone.

“Ashlee….” She turned around to see the entire staff standing in one room. “The feeling of being Santa for even an hour is something I will always treasure. But I am here to give my power back.” Hannah said. Zack did the same thing.

Each character one by one lining up to help Richard regain his strength. And then Edd walked into the room holding a basketball. What is this a street ball league?  

“I brought the basketball to make it easier. Everyone touches the basketball, and we take our new powers, get them into the ball and see if we can pass back just his powers and see if Space Jam taught us anything.”

You know out of all the ideas I have heard today, that is not the worst. Everyone touches the basketball giving it a glow. Ashlee takes the ball into the room. And put the ball on Richards hands, everyone is hopeful this will change everything. But nothing. Richard still lays motionless.

Kids across the world have started to open their presents….

Richard has a twitch.

He twitches again twitch. Is he dancing?

Why in the hell did we mix Space Jam and It’s a Wonderful Life?

via GIPHY

“Did I save Christmas?” Richard asks.

“Perfectly.” Ashlee says running towards her spouse.

“Love, don’t you dare scare me like this again.” Ashlee says to Richard.

“Love, what if I told you I at least have at least one more Christmas in me.”

“That would be the best Christmas of all.” Ashlee says.

And the story of Christmas would never be the same after that Christmas Eve. But Richard needs to regain his strength, so we should let him rest. Thank you for reading the 2020 Christmas Story.

“Nope. Write the final paragraph that I told you to write.” Sharon demands.

And that wraps up this story until next year when we involve a tower, a hostage situation, and the mob. The 12th Story Of Christmas will happen in 2021. And Sharon is not Cupid, never has been cupid, and never will play cupid.

Happy?

“You might just have a story telling future after all.” Sharon says.

The END!

(Note From Richard: Thank you so much for reading this years story, Suit Up, Santa. I wanted to do something that would at least come across as fun. When I started writing these stories, I found myself in one of the worst places in my life. I did not have a dime to my name. So, since I could not buy anyone presents, I made them characters in these Christmas stories. The names may have changed since the beginning, but one thing will always stay the same, these fun little stories are part of my Holiday lexicon. Thank you all so much. And Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and HAPPY NEW YEAR.)

Is she gone? Sharon is totally Cupid.


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Richard Pruitt
I am Richard and I have a problem. A problem with entertaining people. I have been in the comedy world for over 10 years. I started out as an improv actor making fun and light of everything. Doing that felt rewarding, but I have to admit, I wanted more. I couldn’t get the taste of performing out of my mouth. Does that not sound a little creepy? I decided to start doing my own stand up show. I love to make fun of my family and anything that will make a normal person say what the fuck. The journey still continues, in 2009, I had a dream to create my own online magazine. This is the beautiful corner of craziness in front of you. I have been through hell in my life but being stopped is something that I will not let happen. I am a fighter and hope to make people realize it is ok to smile and think from time to time. It also helps being a nerd.
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