This morning I awoke to my wife telling me that she is leaving for work about 30 minutes before her normal time. Normally, she lets me sleep because I work from home. But today is a little different. Our parking lot and roads are covered in a sheet of ice. So, naturally I woke up to await that she made to work on time. As I was looking out of the window at the world’s largest ice-skating rink, I could hear a car in the background, a few blocks away, but you could hear their tires spinning. And that got me thinking…that is the perfect metaphor for how I feel during this time in life.
Posting personal feelings is something I strayed away from in the past few years, but since March 12 of last year, it’s impossible to try to hide how I am feeling. Just like that car this morning, I feel life is just spinning its tires trying to make something out of nothing.
For weeks, I have sat down in front of my keyboard trying to make something happen. The perfect example is the episode of King of the Hill in which Hank is constipated. And throughout the entire episode, Bobby and Peggy are rooting for him to finally relieve himself. After 21 minutes, the shit hit the water. And god, right now, I feel like Hank Hill in that episode trying to write.
There is a major reason for less updates than normal, it’s just difficult. And I am just a writer of a goofy online magazine, I do not find what I do to be top priority, but I also know how I am feeling. And know, that feeling resonates with a lot of you reading this. The feeling of depression, despair, defeated. I want to shake that feeling, but I am not sure how to do so. We cover comic conventions and concerts as part of our content, I love being around people. I feed off that energy. But it’s been a year since anything has happened, since being around a person. And I know I am doing right the thing by staying home and not going anywhere unless it’s a necessity, but dear god, that does not mean that I do not want to kick some people right in the fucking taint.
I don’t want to talk about what I miss because I do not want to sound like a whiny version of Ted Mosby. Ok, a whinier version of Ted.
So, where does that leave us? We are trying to get back on track slowly. It may take a few weeks, but we are not giving up. Just need to some days to take care of ourselves. I never really understood how important mental health until all of this started.
Just take care of yourself as best as possible. Wear a fucking mask, and we really need to find the cure for writer’s block because that would be worth more than GameStop stock from two weeks ago.