Author: Bobbie Turner

Word Vomit

SILENCE AND SIN A HUNGER SO OBSCENE A NEED SO PROFOUND THE GATES BEGIN TO OPEN LYING ON THE COLD,HARD GROUND. CLINCHING FOR THE AIR INSIDE PAIN FLOWING AS A RUGGED EMBRACE TAKEN TO AN UNWANTED TIME STARING INTO THE EYES OF DISGRACE. NOWHERE TO RUN, NOWHERE TO GO NEEDING ABUNDANT RELEASE PULLING FROM THE INSIDE OUT WAITING FOR THE FLOOD TO DECEASE. LONGING TO BE FREE IN A WORLD I DON’T BELONG PULLING AWAY, INSIDE TO MY SOUL FREE ME FROM IT ALL NO LONGER TO BE WITHDRAWN. TRUST SO EASILY, CARELESSLY MISPLACED NEVER AGAIN RETRIEVED ANGER FOR...

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Dear Santa From Bobbie Turner

Dear Santa, First let me start by saying, be expecting my notice in the years to come. I Quit! Well, in about 12 years. I’m tired of doing your job! Where the hell have you been all these years? See, I have caught on to you! You push all of the real work (and expenses) onto us “elves”. As the adults, we buy, and buy and buy some more all the while giving you the credit for “making the toys” while you sit on your fat ass and delegate the real work. Must be nice to sit around, eat...

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A Very Special Christmas Word Vomit

Southern Christmas It’s Christmas day once again. Presents in tow, the family’s all here. The table is set, the food is prepared. It’s time to eat, let the circus begin. Across the table, Aunt Kay begins to swear. “The turkey’s too dry, the gravy too thin”. Grandpa shakes his head and gives a hateful stare. Bubba starts smacking his food and slurping his drink. Cousin Tim begins to burp and lets one go. We all begin to cough while the room fills with stink. Someone throws a biscuit giving me a face full of dough. Dad and Uncle Dan...

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Half Baked Headlines #7

Let me start this week’s Half Baked Headlines by apologizing for missing last week’s headlines. Life kind of snuck up on me. As we all know, there is more than enough crazy in the world so I hope you all got your crazy fix a different way last week. The first story I am bringing you is one that’s close to home because I have been there. The ultimate fear of spiders can cause people to do things that are not exactly sane, but when that fear kicks your adrenaline into top speed, you are not thinking about your...

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Half-Baked Headlines # 6

Welcome to week six of Half-Baked Headline. This week I will bring you a church pew throw down, a firmly planted nanny, and a dumb camera criminal. Sit back, get comfy, and let me introduce you to a few of the crazy stories from around the world. Most people who attend a church expect to walk into a place of peace, fellowship, and hospitality. It’s common for regular church members to favor a particular pew or side of the sanctuary to sit in. Ever heard the term “back row Baptist”? Well, imagine if you walked in and headed towards...

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