I suppose my story begins(as most do) on the day of my birth. I mean, i’d like to sit here and tell you about the ticker tape parade that was thrown in my honor, or that my being vaginally farted into the world signaled a time of unbridled peace and love throughout the galaxy, but i will do my best to try and be humble about my epic origins. Truth is my real origin is as ordinary as apple pie. I was hobbled together from various body parts of criminals on death row who opted to be organ donors. I suppose you could say I’m the Bizarro six million dollar man (but judging by my appearance you couldn’t tell they spent more than a few shillings on me).
In between being chased by townsfolk with pitchforks and torches opposed to the “abomination” of my existence i have developed a passion for writing. The only thing that can match such lofty desires would be a lifelong passion for film. I mean I’m quite nerdy about lots of things (video games, comic books, music, etc…) but cinema in all its shiny golden splendor has captured my attention more than anything else. It’s something I try to share with the world at large, as much as possible. I figure if i can find the magic in such things, maybe i can help others do so as well.
I’ve written quite a few poems(mostly about my first few years as a dime store knockoff Mary Shelly creation) but have stuck to mostly movie reviews. I am quite elated to be able to relate my thoughts and opinions on all things film with those who take the time to read them. I hope to have a positive impact here on the site and am looking forward to not only working with the staff currently in place but being able to reach a wider audience as well.
P.S. If some of my work comes off a bit sloppy and meandering, its just because the doctor responsible for the stitch job on my cranial cavity didn’t do that great job and my brain has fallen out of the hole in my head they used to pump blood into. Cheers Mates!!
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