BroScopes: Horoscopes for Dudes

Aries: It’s a subdued New Moon for you in March. Subdued new moons are for lame ass bitches like your neighbor that’s always sitting on your fire escape when you come home. Wanna flip that lame ass moon? Live your dream of becoming an American Ninja Warrior and then celebrate in Cabo for spring break on dad’s Amex. Then you can turn around and tell that moon to turn your pages. Taurus: Good news! Your ruler Venus is entering you this month! Don’t fuck it up this time by taking advice from a Pisces. If you feel the need...

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