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Author: TBK Magazine

Retro Music Video

I went to bed last night a very happy individual. McDonalds has brought back the greatest sandwich ever. The McRib!!!! Those things are better than sex. I figured I would be in a great mood today. I read the news that changed my morning forever. Cue the Sad Music. I haven’t been able to stop crying for around 35 or 40 minutes. This has me really tore up on the inside. Billy Ray Cyrus and his wife are getting a Divorce. The parents of Miley are no longer going to be together. What are we supposed to do? What is little Miley supposed to do? Has any one thought this might cause her to start dressing like a slut I feel like my whole world is crumbling around me. Today, I would like to dedicate this 1992 hit to all the people effected by this tragedy. Billy Ray more than any. First you lose the mullet, then you daughters innocence, and now your wife. I hope someone can mend Your Achy Breaky Heart. (Please Hint The Note of...

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An Open Letter

Its your favorite foul mouthed writer. I am Stick Figure ( You will be all excited when I use my Tongue. You will be screaming my name at the top of your lungs. I will be pounding you like a meat Cleaver. Just wait till I get inside your Hairy Beaver.) Dan. I think this blog needs some more Dan. I am sick of seeing that ho Whitney and that cock block take all the good fucking shit. My guess he is sitting somewhere right now with his finger up his ass, trying to hit on a poor poor girl. Enough about losers who have better odds of winning Powerball twice than getting laid. Dear Castellammare di Stabia Mayor Luigi Bobbio, First of all I thought you and Mario were lovers of women and their bodies. How in the Fuck can you ban the greatest thing to happen to women’s fashion? Do you thinking banning the mini skirt is going to get you reelected? Fuck No. Not only have you pissed off every women in your little town. But on the flip side you have also pissed off every man as well. I was just thinking about moving to your town to start an upskirt fetish website as well. I know what it is. You want all the mini skirts to yourself. You must have some J. Edgar Hoover...

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Retro Music Video

Hey Hey Hey, its Friday. That means the weekend is right around the corner. Halloween parties out the ole wazoo. Doesn’t matter if you are dressing as Lady Gaga, A penis, or Snookie from the Jersey Shore. We are gonna get our groove on and bust a move. You know what the best part of Halloween parties are? Say you meet someone. You hit it off. Invite your new special someone back to your place to the Monster Mash. If you know what I mean. When you both wake up, you are thinking how in the blue hell did this happen. Since you are at home they still have to get back in their costume and take the walk of shame. I love me some Halloween. Today’s Retro Video is the place everyone’s Halloween parties should be took to. I would like to dub this song as The Roller Rinks Across the County official anthem. Here is Lipps Inc. with Funkytown. (there were two videos for this song that could have been used. I decided to go with the cheesier vid due to the nature of this blog. Plus I have watched it 15 times and cant stop laughing.  This woman’s face is...

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Retro Music Video

I had some mint chocolate chip ice cream this morning. I feel like I squeezed a whole bottle of Colgate in my mouth and mixed it with Chocolate syrup. Andes Mints this wasn’t. Isn’t that the best part of going to Olive Garden. Getting the Andes Mint after the meal. Those little things are an orgasm in your mouth. This has nothing to do with Retro Video but felt that the world needed to know. Speaking of feeling Minty, Didn’t you hate going Trick or Treating and come back to find mints in your bag. I might be in the minority when I say this. Peppermints aren’t candy.They are a breath mint. There has to be some cheap ass out there, instead of buying real candy just saves up his Sonic Mints to hand out on Halloween. What a cock stain! Well today’s Retro Video is the anthem for this Halloween. If anyone hands you a peppermint, I want you to burst out into this Bow Wow Wow song Glee Style. Complete with Choreography and schoolgirls. Here is Bow Wow Wow with their Strangeloves cover, I Want...

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A Morning of Reflection

I had a serious blog planned to go up today or tomorrow about how I was feeling homesick. I think this morning was a sign to me, not to put it up. Here is the story I am getting my much needed beauty sleep. I have to. If I wanna become the soon to be sexiest man alive, sleep is a must. I was having a dream about talking to my crush. Seriously, most of my dreams involve her and having her pour hot wax on me while hogtied. Someday I will tell her. When I do,you guys and gals will be the first to know. I know I will tell her with the right amount of booze in my system. Booze: The Self Esteem Boost In A Bottle. That slogan there is a license to print money. Well, I kinda woke up to something on TV beeping at me. I felt like it was an episode of Springer. Still not for sure on that. I turn it off. I rolled over and the day was never the same again. I noticed something flashing in the window. Maybe I missed turning off the TV, I thought. The TV was off. Hmmmmm. Still lights flashing. I got up to see what was going on. I look out my bedroom window to see an ambulance and fire truck. The first thing...

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