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Author: TBK Magazine

The Really Big Bowl Of Random 2

I have been sitting here in the computer chair with thoughts just jumping around in my head. My mind right now is like one of those jumping bean toys. You know what would help me focus on everything. I’m thinking a really big plate of General Tso’s Chicken, some fried rice and an ice cold refreshing Pepsi. Oh my god, I just ate and made my self hungry again. I swear I think I am Preggo. On a Side note, I’m sorry Whitney. I was the one who Pissed her off in the Halloween section. I didn’t mean to wear my belly shirt. There is a wonderful mental image for you. Where was I? I was thinking about who the father of my baby could be and I lost my train of thought. Oh yes, I think its time for another helping of The Really Big Bowl Of Random. To anyone that has heard the Miranda Lambert hit, Kerosene. The line that says, Dusty roads ain’t made for walking, a good line. However, It doesn’t sound like that to me. To me, it sounds like, Dusty Rhodes (The 80s Professional Wrestler) ain’t makin waffles. I bet anyone who just read that, just went to their itunes account or youtube to see if I am crazy. Am I the only one who feels dirty poking someone on Facebook? I feel...

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Retro Music Video

Last weekend, I was out getting my groove on. The band that was playing took a small break. The music that started playing over the speaker, The Cha Cha Slide. If you don’t know what I am talking about then you haven’t been to a dance club or a High School dance after 1996. It is one of those songs that makes you get up and dance to it. You can’t help it either. It kinda starts taking over your body like a flesh eating virus. The only way to defeat it, is to dance to it. There are a few songs like that out there. One of them being the Macarena, and the other is today’s retro video. List of things needed for a good dance song from the 80s. Big hair: Check. All Girl Band: Check. Synthesizer:Check.  An easy Dance any moron can do: Double Check. This all girl band is Smoking hott.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you by request, The Bangles. With Their 1986 smash dance hit (Watch for the girl singing at the 2:48. Look at her eyes. That is the epitome of the, I am gonna jump your bone look.) Walk Like An...

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Common Sense By A Common Skank.

OMG!!! Just got attitude from a teeny bopper. I am about ready to snatch a bitch. This stupid little girl is showing her way preggo belly and strutting around like she is the bomb. Hello, stupid, you’re the idiot that couldn’t figure out how to use a condom. And you want to flaunt yourself and show exactly how you got knocked up. Stupidity does not become you. This ignorant little slut was bouncing around flaunting her boobs at some guy and turns and knocks into me. Hello, what are you doin’ in the adult Halloween costumes anyways, planning for round two. Then you want to turn to me and say “Watch it, I’m pregnant.” Yeah, like anyone misses the twelve year old in a Hannah Montana shirt, with the obscenely huge bastard belly. Let me guess, he told you he was a hundred year old vampire and needed your blood to battle the evil werewolf neighbors. If you aren’t old enough to tell fantasy from reality you should be lobotomized. And your mama should be smacked. Then your daddy should be smacked for impregnating her. I tell ya what, that girl has no idea who she was screwing with. I just gave her the parting shot, “Really, I thought you were just really...

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Retro Music Video.

You find things you didn’t even know you had. Isn’t that how it works? 10 years ago you buy something, lose it a year later, find it in 8 years and think, When in the hell did I buy this? Since I am feeling homesick and having past memories coming back. I could really use a hug. No! Not from you. From the girl I am crushing on. Unless you are the girl I am crushing on. Then, I want to be showered in hugs. I’m a dirty boy and you are not clean unless you are Zest fully clean.  I felt that this belonged. I found some of my old CDs. One in particular stood out. Now! That’s what I call Music Vol. 1. The very first NOW CD. I couldn’t believe I owned this. I think it was cause of a certain Marcy Playground song. Favorite Song of the 90s Sex & Candy. Then, I started to listening to it. There are some damn good songs on the first Now CD. Fastball, Harvey Danger, Lenny Kravitz and Radiohead to name a few of the artists. If you see this CD laying in your vintage music store, pick it up. You wont be disappointed. Today’s Retro Video is one of the songs that is featured on that very album. It’s the 1996 hit by Tonic, If You Could...

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Hall of Hunks: Ryan Reynolds

  Ryan Reynolds After writing about “Waiting” I had to watch it. And then I got all hot and bothered. Ryan Reynolds is so fucking sexy and the next Hall of Hunks inductee. It makes me wish for something I never thought possible, I wish I was Scarlett Johansson. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to go to bed with this hunky piece of man meat every night. *drool *sigh. I can think of all kinds of naughty things to do with him. I don’t care if he was playing in X-men or the Proposal. Hell, I would...

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